Le Petit Blog / relationship advice
It’s not always easy to make generic assumptions about relationships or subject them to scientific evaluation. Although there are ways in which science can explain to some extent how relationships work, since it’s a matter of human psychology after all, no one will provide you a universally applicable, clear, unambiguous answer to your heart’s troubles. Every relationship is different, just as every person on this planet is unique.
There’s a confirmed research study, that you’ve probably heard about, that honeymoon phase lasts for about two years before you finally dive into deep peaceful, still waters. And this applies to every relationship over two years, whether it’s been blessed with marital union or not, there’s a fine line between staring at each other's eyes for hours and staring at the TV for hours.
The main thing is that whatever you’re doing, you’re doing it together. Because you can actually rewind and relive your happiest moments and make them last longer. Here’s a little insight on where to begin.
One compliment goes long way. Maybe you feel neglected because saying nice things to each other, or stating the obvious (I’m attracted to you) has become superfluous. This is important to remember. Many words will become silent and you will maybe express those feelings through gestures. Learn to read them, pay attention to details. Sometimes one person or the other requires validation through words and needs to hear them otherwise they won’t know you mean them. Say something nice to each other every day.
Remember this, because this will make your relationship special and fulfilled for as long as it lasts. Don’t wait for special occasions. Don’t wait for birthdays, don’t wait for anniversaries, name days, holidays or whatever it is that you celebrate every year on exact same date. By all means, keep them, but once a while, throw in a just because occasion. A gift, a nice dinner, a love letter, a massage whatever comes to mind, it will be very appreciated. Also ladies, sexy lingerie and a nice perfume are always good choices – seduction game is a classic for a reason. Bear in mind that what men want basically is to know that you made the effort to dress nicely for day. They notice, believe me. This is individual, and it’s not about being or doing something you don’t feel like, the point is doing something, that you don’t do often. A surprise effect. A pleasant surprise that is.
Don’t replicate them, just recreate the atmosphere, the detail that you remember, a certain smell, a meal you’ve had or even a joke, anything that made it yours and yours only. You can make up your own relationship leitmotif, something that will carry you on your way together and always remind you of each other.
Spend some time alone
If you want to be good together, you have to be good by yourself. So, there are two main points to this premise. First, in order to truly be with someone you have to be able to be with yourself first. The second point is to spend some time apart, enough to miss each other. Just find your balance, you don’t have to be separated for too long, just engage in different activities individually. Cherish your me time, find time for yourself, and wait for the butterflies in the stomach.
So yes, maybe there is an expiration date to the honeymoon phase, but don’t let yourself be naive as to what that phrase really is. It’s just natural and new and exciting and when that feeling wears off, it becomes familiar and you find yourself craving for something new and exciting again. It’s how your brain works, it’s normal. You can make your relationship new and exhilarating for yourself if you just scratch beneath that basic instinct and make your own way instead. Together.
About the author:
Roxana is a travel enthusiast and lifestyle consultant from Sydney and she loves to write about her adventures. She is all about the healthy lifestyle, loves to run with her husband and dogs and has fun cooking exotic meals for her family. Being a typical Aussie, she often hits the waves and loves beaches and sunshine! You can find out more about her writing following her on twitter and facebook. She is also one of the editors at Higstylife Magazine.
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